Thursday, April 1, 2010

April Fool

I started this blog so I can express my feelings and opinions on many different subjects. This is of a very personal nature. Today is April Fool's Day. To many, that means it's a good excuse to play practical jokes. I have no problem with that whatsoever. However, to me this day has a completely different meaning. You see, my little sister's birthday was April 1. She died in a car accident in 1985. She would have been 43 today. Yes, it's been 25 years, but you know what? The pain never goes away. It changes, but it doesn't go away. In fact, for the last three years, it's hit me HARD. I can't explain exactly why, but it has. She was 18 when she died, and she was a pretty messed up kid. By that time, she had already been in rehab. Was it working? We'll never know. I think the reason it's hitting me hard these past few years is that I really wonder what she would have been like as a 40-something adult. Would she have turned her life around? Would she have remained a mess? I don't know. No one knows, except God.

Happy Birthday Val. I love you, and I'll never forget you.


  1. I ALMOST know how you feel. No one can REALLY know how you feel since we are all different. But I can tell you this. My dad died in October of 1984. He was ill all of my life. He had Crohn's disease and it eventually took him, but he had it since the mid 40's.

    He is gone from my sight, but not from my heart nor my head. I speak to him every day, or just about every day. The feeling of loss never goes away, but the memories also never go away. I remember the good times and the "oh come on Dad, not ANOTHER lecture - I am in the Army for goodness sake" times!

    You're right. Only God knows what would have happened. And you said she was making the rehab effort. That not only says a great deal about her...that took an enormous amount of courage for her to do that. But from what I have read so far on Twitter and your blog, if Val was anything like HER sister Chris, she would have turned out spectacular.

    Keep the memories alive. Mourn as you should and never forget she is within you. Always will be.

    Talk to her every day.


  2. You are one in a freakin' MILLION!!!